This is Chi. 
I'm not online right now, but if you are looking for my work, please press 1

Press 2 if you want to hear a bit more about me, in third-person. 

Please press 3 to read some articles on me while you wait. 

Press 4 to see me offline and IRL. 

Press 5 to leave a message.

If you are looking for a representative, please say "representative."